Let Life Be Like Music
by Strangest Dreams
Summary: When Zero is killed before their first battle with Sigma, X is left to cope with the loss of his most precious person. If a reploid can be capable of worrying, they're more than capable of mourning. Just because his emotions were programmed does not make them any less real.
1. Denial

AN- This is my first fic, so I'm hoping it's not a complete disaster. I saw someone recently play a game that inspired this idea, and it refused to leave me alone. I know the writing style is...odd...but I hope that doesn't detract from what I was going for!

_words - _unconscious thoughts (these are non-linear, almost stream of consciousness. Mostly to show X's mental state)

'words' - normal thoughts

_Disclaimer: I do not own Megaman, the quotes I used, or any other intellectual property I may have borrowed from others in this story._

* * *

"_There is a grace in denial. It is nature's way of letting in only as much as we can handle_."

* * *

Even after hearing din beyond the steel door, X kept trying to convince himself that nothing bad could possibly happen. Zero had faced Vile many times before and come out victorious, why should this be any different?

After seeing his mentor _idol, hero, best friend _caged up like some feral animal behind an electric fence, X remained optimistic. His opponent was not impossible to defeat, over sized ride armor or not. While not exactly a resounding victory _and Zero had been there to back him up, don't forget_ X had faced the other reploid before.

While Vile continued to boast and the blonde continued to gnash his teeth and fight his restraints, X began formulating a possible attack plan. The armor Doctor Light had hidden for him provided a reassuring weight, reminding him that he had grown and become stronger. Being a pacifist does not necessarily make one a terrible fighter, should the need arise.

Vile continued his tirade, seeming frustrated that X was not entirely paying attention. He didn't mean to drown out the pompous reploid (he did value honesty though, and honestly Vile's words all began to sound like a small child's cries for attention), but it was near impossible to ignore his imprisoned friend.

Despite having come out the loser in his conflict with the maverick _who continued to blather on instead of taking advantage of X's lapse in attention_, Zero was every bit as amazing in captivity as he was on the battlefield. The combination of his wild hair ('when had Zero ever not worn his hair in a long ponytail?') and the frigid look in his eyes was enough to make his comrade shiver slightly. Though he himself had absolutely no taste for violence, that crazed, murderous look suited the blonde (much as X would like to deny the need for such violence).

Their eyes met, and the violent façade shifted long enough for X to glimpse the raw panic behind Zero's gaze. He almost wanted to smile and reassure the other that he was fine; he'll be fine and he would protect Zero for once instead of the other way around. Aggression was unwanted, but if that was what it took to get Zero back to his side, then so be it. At this point, there were very few sins X wouldn't commit for him. Once this was all over…maybe…

The ground suddenly rippled as a large caliber shot was fired in the vicinity of the blue fighter's feet. Apparently, Vile had finally noticed that his speech was going unheard in favor of sharing meaningful glances across the battlefield. He scoffed before taking aim once again.

"Limitless potential and your precious creator couldn't even program basic manners?" He fired a few rounds from the canon mounted on his back, which was met with a well-timed dash by his opponent. "I must say, you disappoint more and more every time I see you!"

Their confrontation did not go entirely as X had hoped.

The ride armor was proving a greater hindrance than expected, granting Vile near invulnerability to all of his blue-armored opponent's attacks. Rolling shield rolled right off, fire wave wasn't nearly hot enough to even warm the metal, shotgun ice might as well have been a snowball against a brick wall.

At one point, Zero smashed both his gauntlets against the electric field. The sizzling of synthetic flesh was audible (X mentally noted that he would have to chastise Zero yet again from unnecessarily harming himself to save his B-rank friend), but the more experienced hunter didn't even flinch. "Get out of here, X!" Zero shouted even as he pressed his palm directly against the visible barrier of energy. "As your superior on this mission, I order you to get out of here right now!"

The B-rank hunter shook his head briefly, refusing to leave his best friend _only friend _behind. 'Idiot,' X chided mentally, "after all you've done for me, as if I could ever leave you behind.'

Shifting like quickfire through the skills he had learned from fighting the other mavericks _former comrades_ , nothing proved effective. Chameleon sting, electric spark, storm tornado; all useless.

Then, something miraculous happened.

The blonde had become so enraged when Vile once again succeeded in grasping X tight enough to bend his titanium skeletal structure _like the first time on that highway, only that time X needed saving, not Zero himself _that he leaped through the force field keeping him contained.

For a moment, X smiled with relief. This scene was familiar; he had tried his hardest, and now Zero would finish the mission off. What was unfamiliar was the look in those blue eyes. Instead of the calm confidence his comrade normally exuded, there was only desperation.

'Why are you so worried? Everything will be okay now.'

The B-rank hunter fell unceremoniously to the ground as Vile refocused all his attention on the menace now clawing at the back of his armor. The smaller hunter took advantage of the distraction to breathe (not necessarily because androids need to breathe, but rather because his systems needed ventilation to cool down after nearly overheating in Vile's hands).

"X!" X looked up at Zero to see his mouth moving, but oddly enough no words were escaping. A half-second internal diagnostic revealed that it wasn't that the blonde wasn't speaking, but rather that his auditory receptors were damaged in the fall. While they rebooted, X continued to watch his friend shout wordlessly as the purple reploid clawed frantically to dislodge his rider.

'No wonder he's an A-rank hunter. Even after all that, he still has energy for a charge sh-'

Had his mind been a primitive computer, it would've bluescreened with no hope of recovery.

For X, who had nearly finished repairing his hearing, it was as though a soundless supernova was taking place in front of him. _Are you watching, X? Don't blink, or you'll miss it. This is first moment of you 'life' that you will never forget._

When the light cleared, Zero and the armor were gone. All that remained was Vile, cocky as ever.

"Ha, did you see that, X? DID YOU? Not even Zero could take me down and he was ten times the hunter you could ever hope to be! 'Limitless potential' Sigma says." He held his hands up and shook his head in a condescending manner. "If he could only see you now."

It was cruel irony that Vile's gloating had been the first thing X heard as his senses were restored. He blinked a bit of static out of his eyes to see his opponent aiming his canon. "Ze-"

"Can it, X. This little farce has gone on long enou-huh?"

The purple reploid jumped backwards before a well-aimed missile exploded right where he was formerly standing. He immediately glanced back to see a seemingly reinvigorated X decked in gray and aiming a buster directly between where his eyes would be.

"Impossible! How in the-?"

"Let's finish this, Vile!"

Without the ride armor, everything became horribly one-sided.

Doctor Light may have intended for his final creation to be mankind's greatest hope, but surely he could not have imagined that the android he had sealed away for 100 years and the one currently dominating his opponent were one and the same. It was as though the loss of his friend in the explosion brought about certain clarity.

Homing torpedo, how could he have forgotten about homing torpedo? This was almost like shooting fish in a barrel. Once this was all over and Sigma was safely retired, the two friends would probably share a laugh over such a rookie mistake as forgetting one's own abilities.

Utilizing his new armor's full capabilities, X concentrated his energy into charging up and firing three explosive shots to finally incapacitate Vile.

Once it was clear that the maverick threat had been neutralized, a tiny scuffling noise in the distance caught the hunter's attention. He briefly nodded his head to another comrade _who died at very his hands_ before running off to investigate.

'This isn't happening.'

There was no way that Zero, the reploid who once stood toe-to-toe with Commander Sigma in terms of battle prowess, was the same as this battered body lying on the ground. _Dreams of innocence are just that; they usually depend on a denial of reality that can be its own form of hubris._

"X?"

No no _no_ "…Zero?"

The blonde turned to gaze in his friend's direction, and X nearly moaned in despair. His friend was no doubt blind, judging from the amount of static clouding his eyes. Blindness was probably the least of his worries, given that nothing remained of his body below the chest. The sight of oil and split wires was enough to draw a small moan from the pacifist. Despite the mess, X reached out and gathered up what was left of his comrade in his arms.

Seemingly just noticing his physical state, Zero scrunched his face up in dismay. "Well, can't say this is how I expected the battle to go at all. At least I still have my looks, right?"

'Judging from the brassy echo, a wire must've been damaged in his vocal relays as well…' "Why did you-"

"Do you even have to ask?" The blonde attempted to reach up and pat his student's head before noticing the lack of anything below his elbow. 'Oops, forgot about that.' "I've told you time and time again; you possess something far greater than any weapon."

"My 'limitless potential'?" X grimaced, clearly remembering the reverence with which some would speak of this particular trait. Reverence that caused Commander Sigma to rebel and join the mavericks…

"Hope." Zero suddenly scrunched his eyebrows together, as though pained. "That sounded so much less sappy in my head…"

"Z-zero, be serious!"

"I am serious. There are millions, if not billions of people out there who will die if the maverick uprising- if Sigma- is not stopped. I tried," a wince accompanied this statement, "but my best wasn't good enough. You're the only one that can end this now."

"I-"

"Am going to walk out that door and end this, once and for all. Without looking back." Those useless eyes almost softened as the blonde smiled slightly. "Be sure to punch him a few times for me, alright?"

X nodded solemnly, before laying his friend back down on the ground. 'This isn't happening, there's no way that he could ever be defeated…'

The A-rank hunter flinched in pain before settling against the floor. X was reminded of briefly of a light bulb burning out; a sudden bright spark before fading away to darkness. "Go now."

The smaller of the two hesitantly took one step away, then another, then another, until eventually he was standing right outside a doorway.

'I'm not just leaving my friend to die alone in here. It's all going to be fine.'

The door hissed as a pressure lock was released internally. Several gears clanked as the opening mechanism was activated.

X stepped through, not even glancing back as the path behind him resealed.

'This isn't happening.'


	2. Anger

_AN: Thank you to everyone who read the first chapter, especially to those who reviewed/followed/favorited. I'm honestly over the moon with happiness at the responses I got. May this next chapter not let you down, and I promise there will be less of a wait between chapters from now on! Thank you all! _

_ Reviews are always appreciated as well.  
_

_This is also dedicated to Paranoid Zephyr, for putting up with my whining over the FSOT and keeping me motivated to write more. (-b^_^)-b  
_

_words - _unconscious thoughts (these are non-linear, almost stream of consciousness. Mostly to show X's mental state)

'words' - normal thoughts

_-words- _ flashback

_Disclaimer: I do not own Megaman, the quotes I used, or any other intellectual property I may have borrowed from others in this story._

* * *

"_Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change_."

* * *

Climbing the wall to the innermost area of Sigma's lair was the most taxing experience X had ever faced since his awakening by Doctor Cain. Physically, it was a simple enough feat. A fully-charged rolling shield surrounded his entire body, shimmering and incinerating the small insect-like mechanaloids scuttling out of the pipes.

If only Zero was here to see this. What a difference between the timid rookie who couldn't even make eye contact with the target he was aiming his buster at, to the proud hunter dashing to his inevitable demise without a single glance backwards.

_You can't keep thinking like this X, or you'll remember those lifeless blue eyes, with nothing but static behind them. Remember how you could see the bare copper wiring where the coaxial cables in his abdomen had been shre-_

Without even a hitch, X ended that thought process. His greatest adversary to date, the reploid responsible for this nightmare, was a few meters above him. _Sigma was Doctor Cain's first creation, first reploid based off your design, almost like your child, and even now you're preparing to permanently fry his systems beyond repair._

'Don't dwell on the losses, X. Remember why you're fighting. Think of all the little things worth fighting for. '

* * *

"_X," Doctor Cain had said soothingly over a cup of hot cocoa, "I won't lie to you. This world is a cruel, unforgiving place. Humanity is brilliant, but there have been a great many sins committed in the name of innovation. I worry that knowing these sins would break your 'heart.'"_

"_Why then?"_

"_Hm?"_

"_I-if it is as bad as you say it is…" X curled up on himself in despair, "why did you bother waking me up at all? Did you want me to suffer? Why couldn't you have let me sleep?"_

_The elderly man chuckled before reaching out tentatively to ruffle the androids hair. "Because, despite how terrible it may seem at times, life is also beautiful."_

_Green eyes blinked incredulously. "H-how so?"_

_A cheery red mug overflowing with mini marshmallows was pushed into the android's hands. Following the doctor's example, X lifted the mug and took a small sip. _

"_That's…really good." He took a larger sip before smiling brightly, complete with chocolate mustache. _

"_I thought you'd enjoy it." Doctor Cain made a vague pantomime of wiping his face, and was unsurprised when X blithely ignored his hint and continued drinking. He eventually grabbed a napkin and dabbed it off himself. As X wrinkled his nose at the sudden action, the doctor couldn't help but marvel at exactly how close Doctor Light came to creating a human being. _

_Doctor Cain had the fleeting desire to pinch X's cheek, as a parent might do to their child. Perhaps he was beginning to associate X with being the child he never had? Science always was a cruel mistress, demanding unwavering loyalty and devotion._

"_Maybe…" he sighed after settling back in his seat, "I'm pontificating. I'll get off my soapbox now. Thank you for humoring me."_

"_Ah," X responded while giving a mournful look to the now empty mug in his hands. "You're welcome?"_

"_You don't even know what I'm apologizing for, do you?"_

_The slight flush creeping across X's face was enough of an answer. 'It really is incredible how human-like he is…' _

"_Never mind all that then. How about I make us some more hot chocolate, and once we're finished, we head outside for a short walk? Does that sound like a plan?" _

_X gave a small "meep" in response. He'd taken advantage of the doctor's momentary distraction to stick his fingers into his mug, trying to get the last chocolate-bloated marshmallow stuck to the very bottom. ("I wasn't being uncivilized; I was trying not to waste your food!" "You and I both know what is in those marshmallows, X, and it hardly qualifies them as food.")._

"_Isn't there supposed to be a storm later?"_

"_Even better! We'll go for our walk when the rain has just about stopped."_

_(X would later argue with complete sincerity, "but Doctor Cain, what if you were to slip in a puddle and break your hip? I don't know if I'd be able to carry you back to the lab!" "Oh, hush you. I'm not THAT old!") _

_Despite his initial misgivings about traipsing around in rain, seeing a rainbow for the first time was definitely worth it._

* * *

Over time, X had come to love many things about the world. The very same world that Sigma and his army of Mavericks now threatened to destroy.

'Seeing the first reploids introduced to society…'

Judging by the eerie green light seeping through the darkness, X had to guess that only about 100 meters separated him and his former commander.

'Meeting my creator for the first time…'

75 meters at most were left now. Rolling shield continued to destroy all insect mechanaloids on contact, not that the hunter even noticed anymore.

'Meeting another android, just like me…'

50 meters. The damp air began to crackle with energy and smell like ozone.

'Becoming his friend…'

25 meters.

'I wish he was here with me.'

"X."

An indescribable impulse raced through every single wire connecting every single part of X's body at the sound of that gravelly voice. It was just one letter, _your name_ yet it set off such visceral reaction. "…"

With a dramatic flourish of his cape, Sigma turned from where he stood at the other side of the room to give X a superior smirk. "You've changed. Become stronger. That's good, X. I didn't want to face some rookie who would flinch away from the thought of striking down a former comrade. Oh, wait, you've already done just that. Several times over, in fact!"

"What you've done is unforgivable!" The normally composed X was fairly snarling, tears of frustration building at the corners of his eyes. Had he been flesh and blood, both palms would be bleeding from the force with which he clenched his fists.

The maverick leader feigned surprise before adopting a patronizing tone. "What exactly is it that I have done, X? I made our brethren see the errors of their ways. Reploids were never meant to serve humanity; they were meant to rule it. Has history taught you nothing? Survival of the fittest is the law of the land."

"Stop it!"

"You've grown, X. The B-rank hunter I knew would never have been able to strike down one ally, let alone an entire army. Yet, here you stand before me, having struck down teachers and superiors alike. Even your eyes are different now, harder." Sigma took a break from his monologue to place a giant palm on the head of the dog standing faithfully at his side. "You have the look of a real hunter, now. If only Zero could see you now."

Before Sigma could even consider giving another shit-eating grin, a shot of electricity crackled past his ears. Velgauder snapped at his heels, which was remedied with a swift smack to the back of the head. Once he had quieted back down, Sigma noticed he was staring down the barrel of his opponent's buster. "Oh, did I strike a nerve?"

"You've gone insane!" The smaller kept his buster pointed squarely between the purple scars on his opponent's face. Rational thought was near impossible at this point, yet X managed to keep his tenuous grasp on his emotions. One wrong step, and he would join the countless others who had been lost in this mad war _and Zero, don't forget that he di_- "This is all your fault!"

Sigma chose to blithely ignore X's attempts at derailing the conversation. "Actually, maybe it's beneficial that my good-for-nothing subordinate took your precious friend down. He was always so… _protective_ of you. No one was ever allowed near you, not even other members of your unit. Didn't you ever wonder why he was your only friend?"

"This isn't about that! This is about bringing you to justice!"

"You're all alone this time; Zero won't be saving you ever again. Are you upset, X? Are you, dare I say it, worried?" Sigma's deep laughter echoed in the emptiness around the two. "Good. Doctor Cain used to wax poetically about your worrying, you know? Even as I, his own creation, stood before him, he continued to revere you as Doctor Light's greatest creation. MANKIND'S greatest creation!"

The reploid scoffed. "Named after the mathematical variable 'x' to stand for unlimited potential… Let's put that to the test today!"

'I don't want to fight, but I want this to end. If it means destroying him, then so be it._' Don't forget, you want revenge as well. You want him to suffer for all the pain he's caused everyone, caused you…_

There was a brief silence in which X sank further into an offensive stance. All tension in his body seemed to evaporate as he leveled his former commander with a fiery gaze. "I'd tell you not to worry, that this would be over soon, but it would be a non-issue. This will end soon enough in my victory. Prepare yourself!"

Velgauder leaped in front of the charged shot that accompanied the end of X's speech. Slightly singed, he growled a bared his fangs in a distinctly feral way. Once it became apparent that the hunter was finished talking, the mechanaloid reared back and let loose a howl that echoed throughout the large room.

"If you want to fight me, you'll have to get through him first! Prove to me that you're a worthy opponent!"

In the ensuing battle, X did just that.

* * *

"_Underneath anger is pain, your pain. It is natural to feel deserted and abandoned, but we live in a society that fears anger. Anger is strength and it can be an anchor, giving temporary structure to the nothingness of loss. At first grief feels like being lost at sea: no connection to anything. Then you get angry at someone, maybe a person who didn't attend the funeral, maybe a person who isn't around, maybe a person who is different now that your loved one has died. Suddenly you have a structure – - your anger toward them. The anger becomes a bridge over the open sea, a connection from you to them. It is something to hold onto; and a connection made from the strength of anger feels better than usually know more about suppressing anger than feeling it. The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love_."


End file.
